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 eyecandy's Cancer BlogSeptember 6, 2008
Kids, Here is the link to the show you can watch on-line for free: http://www.nbc.com/Movies_Specials_More/Stand_Up_To_Cancer/ I watched last night with a couple of people from here, good time. Cheers, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice day!
Posted on September 6, 2008 at 3:08:31 PM by Paul Coverdell (
 Stand UP for cancer Watch on-line (C-Day +75),  1 comment)
September 5, 2008
Hey, So if you have a IM account I will be here and we can all chat my yahoo account is: Stlpaul33@yahoo.com Just go to yahoo messenger if you are around watching. Cheers, EyeCandy, (Paul) Have a nice day!
Posted on September 5, 2008 at 3:27:08 PM by Paul Coverdell (
Stand UP for cancer (C-Day +74), 5 comments)
I will be watching, I’ve been waiting all week. I will be there. Hug you two! Hi there, I watched the Stand up for Cancer tonight. I thought it was great the 3 stations gave the time with no ads. I did not think it was put together well. The information give was ok. I would liked to have heard more about the treatments that have come along that is not a medication. I thought they should have had some information about the groups ( like ours ) that support before and after treatment. Any way this is what I thought about it. So bummed I missed it. Going to see if I can find it online somewhere. Sherri; I agree with you on your points. Atleast it was an hour without ads. Not sure I would have stayed on the station if there were, as I am a clicker when ads come on. I was saying to Paul in another post how come they didn’t do a 2 day telethon like Jerry Lewis’s for MS? It cancer (and it is), taking so many lives then how serious are they in giving a one hour programme. I am hoping this is a baby step towards that goal. I was shocked with the stats and yes, I would have like more info on the latest treatments. There was one guy who seemed to get the latest in technology but I’m sure he paid for it quite handsomely. Well maybe we can pull together as a group and write in to one of the stations that organized this and suggest a telethon. Why hasn’t it happened by now? Just my thoughts. By the way Sherri, everytime I get an email that you posted or answered my post, I get a message saying I can’t look at it? Not sure why that is happening. I have never been able to see your post from my email? Weezie
September 2, 2008
Good day, As an avid bicyclist, I took advantage of every opportunity to explore the various landscapes and cultures of Europe from the seat of my bike. While bicycling through Bulgaria, along the Black Sea coast, I stopped at a market area where local artists sat before their easels soliciting business from western tourist. I could not believe the talent. That was the start of an idea that I have pursued for the last 6 years. The basic idea was that I would build a website, and use photos sent to me to create portraits at a reasonable price. Well needless to say I have been able to do over 70 paintings a year. There were many interruptions, from my real job, and living in different countries. From those first days I have learned much, and still love to hear the joy and tears that people express upon receiving their painting. I may not be able to paint, but I do understand the process and how to talk to people and create something that will hang on the wall for many years. The first paintings of my 2 daughters still hang on my wall. Just a bit of background, I joined the Air Force at the start of the first gulf war at 19. I was not sent to the desert, but to Berlin Germany. I spent the better part of the next 16 years in Europe. Six years in the Air force and 10 as a computer network engineer. Working for the U.S. Government and NATO. My high school sweetheart Jennifer, has been there from day one. We returned from Kosovo with 4 daughters in September of last year. OK, this will go on forever. Please take a look at http://www.custommasterpieces.com to read my story and see some of the paintings we have done. Now, I feel so much a part of each painting, many of the ideas are mine, and that is were the cancer paintings came from. The fact is I am like many here, I have cancer, but I must provide for my family, and I want to give something back. So thanks to a little help from a friend, I am able to give some paintings away to other people with cancer. The goal is to paint for those who can afford it and donate to those who can’t. Any profits will go for to help pay for my treatment and to build something that can help support my family if I can’t. Please let me know your opinions. Regards, EyeCandy (Paul) P.S. Sorry for the grammar, writing was never my thing, not to bad with numbers though. Dear Eyecandy; Just finished viewing the website of paintings and really they are wonderful. My question to you is this: Do we order through you or the website? How will you get your commission if we do it through the website? I really loved Jill’s painting. It so captures a woman with a mission and a heart. Thanks … Weezie
September 1, 2008
Well the first painting is complete. I am very happy with the results. Please take a look and let me hear your thoughts. The painting is based on a photo of Jill and her dog Angel that she got after finding out about her breast cancer. We also tried to work the pink in to the sweater. I am still updating the http://www.custommasterpieces.com cancer pages stay tuned. EyeCandy, (Paul) Have a nide day!
Posted on September 1, 2008 at 7:10:34 PM by Paul Coverdell (
Jill's Painting Completed (C-Day +72), 2 comments)
Great Job! You’ve got talent my dear! Dear E.C. You really captured Jill, having seen her pictures. This is just a beautiful painting which she will no doubt cherish. Since she is the motivator on Blog for A Cure, you started exactly where you should have – the beginning. Could you let me know what you charge to do this and how you would ship such a painting to Canada.
August 30, 2008
Well I got my results back, from the biopsy. INCONCULSIVE, so we wait for another 3 weeks. I will say, that many ideas during this wait were wrong. It was a treat to hear from Dr. Harbour even though my results were a 1 in a hundred and INCONCLSIVE. I will wait a few more weeks, for the next test. I know many are suffering and I have been a bit selfless lately. If I have not commented on your post, I am sorry. We did have our favorite FBI agent visiting the last few days. THe painting of Jill the founder of the space should be done in the next few days. Love, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice day! hey dude dont feel so bad we all go through that phase… Don’t worry about not commenting on others’ post. Hang in there! ((Hugs)) Yuyu Hi There, you are the best, we always want to let people know we care about them. It is your turn to receive the support and love. “We need to take care of each other” And we do! I am chiming in a bit late, sorry. This is your time to be encouraged, to receive support and love. None of us are up and fight ready all the time and if we refuse to sit back and be supported we will never regain the strength we will need to help another later. Take time to be cared for and to heal. Soon enough your strength will be needed to come along side someone and you will be able to explain their need because you have lived it. Be well, friend and allow us to return the care you have shown so many here. Mac 1 in a 100 is better than no chance at all. I always look for the bright side. No worries on not posting. I have gone months without a word. Mel Hang in there. If nothing else, we will learn patience. Go ride that bike a bit.
August 26, 2008
I honestly hope each and everyone of you are Having a great day! I on the other hand am not… If you are in good spirits please ignore this post. Here is the crux of the problem as I see it, yesterday I called Sue who is my point of contact at Washington University, I asked about my test results. The first is the simple cell type test, the second being the results of the fine needle biopsy that was done prior to the plaque surgery. The biopsy is going to tell me within reason, If the cancer is going to spread or not. It is not 100%, but close enough for me. Now I would think if I was about to give a person a death sentence (I know that future treatments, could change this) I might return his phone call in a timely manner, even if the result was not available. Anyway its been about 34 hours since that call, I had been able to keep the test results out of my head for the last 26 days, no it is consuming me. Hey kids I’ll talk tomorrow, I thought writing this would help, but it is not. Cheers, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice day! I am with you Paul. One thing that I like to vent about is how much to have to call and call and leave multiple messages to get anyone to call back. It is that last thing you want to deal with when going through cancer. Paul, if talking would help feel free to send me a message at rigidridr@yahoo.com. I will send you a phone number and listen, whenever you need to blow off steam. An ear is the best I have to offer, second to prayers. If not, know that you are in my prayers. I hope you get answers and with them comes hope and peace. Mac Hi kid, I will think good thoughts, and keep you and yours in my prayers. Hugs Sherri I know exactly what you mean. I always want an answer as soon as possible…good or bad. They should give you that much respect. It is the NOT KNOWING that is so hard. If I had a candy for every fear that has shot through me since the “you’ve got cancer” comment I would open my own retail shop. This is always the hardest part – THE WAITING, the second is the news (if it doesn’t go our way), thirdly, how the results are delivered and of course, what to do next. Yup more tests, more chemo, more unknown drugs with oh more side effects from hell. Well they weren’t kidding that Cancer has a slippery slope of emotions attached to it. Sorry Paul for agreeing with you but what the heck let’s call a spade a spade. If you’re angry we are angry so that’s that. Now that you have tried to vent to us, could you be a bit more specific? I thought you had an operation and the biopsy was done before you were operated on? Not sure how it works for your kind of cancer. In any case I hope you are having a better day today, that you hear back from the hospital and that it is all good news. You of all people, life of the party road of adventure, deserve it. Let us all know – we can handle it together. Weezie I hear (and feel) your frustration Paul! I have been waiting for my MRI results for over 2 weeks now but my doc is “on vacation” for another 2 weeks so I must wait it out another 2 weeks (at least) Us CA survivors always have a tiny seem (well…maybe sometimes a large pit)in the back of our minds the possibility of “mets” with me to my bones or spine. What ever happened to the docs of old, ones sensitive to the needs of their patients. I am praying for a good biopsy and test result for you Paul. Lily Well I guess we are all with you! DO you think they know the word empathy? The very least they could do is call you back. Can you call and say something like I just don’t want you to forget about me? or I called but maybe you didn’t get the message?
August 22, 2008
I have about 369 things on my mind, but I will just talk about 3. After all Rome wasn’t built in a day. 1. I was able to speak with Jill (mother of blogforacure.com) she is the best. We went over the details of her cancer survivor painting. It was a good chat, Like I said before I have spent may hours thinking about how to create the cancer survivor painting, but after just a few moments it was clear that she had the idea for her painting. Lesson learned. I post photos as we go. 2. Please think about updating you profile, this goes for me also, I feel so close to so many, but really don’t know your history. I just think it would be nice to know the you before cancer. 3. I want to ask each of you to recruit one person to join us here. If you are like me each comment to a post is a god send. My lovely wife Jennifer will be joining us tomorrow. I am also working on getting a nurse to join. So many say so much we should share. Goodnight, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice day! They are all very good ideas! I like your proactive attitude (I’m sure I said that before!). Yuyu Wow. Your mind is going a mile a minute. I will try to do my part. Maybe you should be running for President, you have such great positive ideaa. Great ideas!
August 21, 2008
Is there ever going to be enough time in the day? When I arrived home from work today I had so many things I wanted to do. It was the first day of school for Mackenzie (9) and Emma (6) so I spent the first half an hour home talking to them about there first day. Then the phone rang and after a few minutes, Jenn was yelling like we just won the lottery. Well in some ways we did, the school had called to inform us that the Keira and Kylie (they will be 4 on the 7th of September) were given spots in Pre-K. After this exciting moment, it was time to feed the bottomless pits that the girls seem to have. Then Jen and Mackenzie were off to school for Open House. I did call my older half-brother Chris and tell him about the cancer. I can’t explain why I waited so long. In fact I felt like an ass. Hard to explain, but I left home at 18 and never asked anyone for much. The few times I came home from Europe were nice, each of my 7 half-brothers always seemed to understand that we .were busy with are day-to-day So we would just enjoy the visit. I have to admit that I was shocked when Chris broke down on the phone. I have a feeling I will be getting, more than a few angry phone calls this weekend. I tried to explain, that I was just use to dealing with my problems myself. This was the case until now, I have quickly learned, that I can not travel this road alone. I was informed that I may have to take a few beatings, but in the end they will be there for me. Ok, so this leads me to one of the many things on my mind, telling people about my problem has been one of the hardest parts of cancer. I would have done anything, not to have had to call my mom. The lesson here is just do it it may hurt for a moment, but people just want to help. I know I promissed much more today, but I am out of time. I will be posting much this weekend. Cheers, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice week-end… And call your family or they will get you.
Posted on August 21, 2008 at 9:18:11 PM by Paul Coverdell (
Frustrated not in a really bad way (C-Day +61), 5 comments)
Well atleast you got that phone call out of the way. I think I know why you saved the news. It means every time we tell someone, it becomes more real to us, more tangible, more exposed, as if we have become naked. Also it is not good news so we as humans are not talented in delivering that kind of news to anyone let alone family. I also feel that once others we know have the news, they look at us differently, like how long do you think he/she will last? That is the part I hate the most – the exposure, the inability to take charge and keep it personal if we want to. No I guess there is no luxury in that aspect of Cancer. Bad news travels fast…. Paul, I do not know that I told anyone, outside of my wife and kids, about my cancer for almost a year. My wife did and I hated it. People have tried to make me feel guilty about not telling them as soon as I found out and some have given me some lip for my decisions. News flash! This is MY situation. This is MY life. I do not “owe” you, and if you really care for me the way you say you do, then you will show me some respect and try to understand. Paul, do not feel guilty, no one who has had cancer will fault you and those who have not had it, have little understanding of the truths that are brought here everyday. I have a lot of respect for your methods and message and if you need help with the brothers and the beatings give me a call…lol. Be well Don’t be so hard on yourself…these calls are very hard to make, and in our broher’s defense, he has never been in your shoes (and hopefully he never will be) so he cannot possibly know how it feels. Like you, telling my mother was very difficult. I did not want to answer any questions. You all know more than she does. People will just have to give us the space and privacy we need until we are ready. Hey, it is the weekend, going riding?? Paul, Like you, I wanted to keep cancer a secret. A very dear friend gave me terrific advice, let people know and let them help you. It was very difficult at first to let people in my home and keep them updated on my progress. In addition to my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. A notice went round my daughters school. I could not go anywhere without someone asking about my progress. The positive side, I did not cook a meal for 8 months. I had terrific meals delivered daily. My cousin learned how to make bread and delivered it weekly. My mother who abandoned me as a child came to live with me for almost a year. I learned to adjust my attitude and realize that I was loved and everyone wanted to help. Now, I am meeting so many women who are single parents battling cancer with no support, I can realize my blessings. Melissa Meliss, You are so right, there are many who given the chance who feel our pain, and would part heaven and earth for us. As I would do for you and so many… God bless EyeCandy, (Paul) httP://myeyecancer.blogspot.com Have a nice day!
August 19, 2008
I’m Back! Depression has been beat back to the Stone Ages….... It’s time to move forward. Hang on kids we are picking up speed…. I am climbing so fast that we just may need to use the brakes on the uphill! The road will always kick back, but I am strong and focused! I welcome any and all to get on my rear tire and come along for the ride. If you are strong don’t be afraid to lead… If you are tired blend into the pack and we will carry you. No individual has ever won the Tour De France, it is the team that sets the stage for the winner. We may lose some, to the rigors and strain, but they will not be forgotten or left on the side of the road. OK, so I present you with the winner of the Tour de Mascoutah, ME….(Mascoutah is the small town in western Illinois where I live) I did about 14 miles today at a steady pace, the hardest part was instead of taking a quick peek over my left shoulder to check for cars I had to almost turn my head 180 degrees and use my right eye. It was a beautiful 86 degrees with bright blue skies. (check the photos page for a photo of me and my trophy.) I have spent most of my “down-time” wracking my brain trying to figure out, “what I am I going to do”, to not only beat the disease that has made a home in my body, “without my permission mind you”! I don’t know when or how, but I have become a cancer crusader. And unlike the medieval crusaders, I will win this fight even if it takes my life. Each of us bring different talents to the fight, I accept the fact that I am not going to be the man that cures cancer. So what can I do? That has been the over-arching thought in my head. What follows is the answer as I see it at 21:03 CST 19 AUG 2008. I am going to use the web based business I started 5 years ago to support the cause. You can read the story about www.custommasterpieces.com Here: http://www.custommasterpieces.com/info.php?id=2 This has been my little baby, even though “life” always seemed to get in the way of me devoting the the time necessary to make the site the success it could be. Website: www.custommasterpieces.com So, here is the plan, I want to accomplish 3 goals with the website: 1. Create portraits for those in the fight against this brutal disease. I have spent many a sleepless night working on this, and here are the three ideas that I have come up with: a. The legacy painting. This is a somewhat standard painting, but the principle is strong. We will all die, even if we win our fight with cancer. History up until now dictates that our days are numbered. (this does not apply to the Son of God). That being said, I believe that one of best ways to be remembered is a hand painted portrait. I can still remember receiving my daughters oil portrait, I must have spent 5 hours just staring at it. ( see photos), I have spent my life traveling and we have many photos sitting in boxes and stored on Cd’s and hard drives. The portraits of Mackenzie and Emma have only been in boxes during transit then placed prominently on the wall at our next destination. I know that we all struggle with the fact that we may not be here one day, nothing like cancer to remind us of our mortality. b. The second painting is the one I spent the most time thinking about. What I want to do is create a painting that could provide a daily reminder of the cancer battle. The portrait I envision is a rear view of a cancer patient during chemo, pale, thin and bald gazing into a mirror. The reflected image is that of their healthy self. I think that this could be a very inspirational painting, for someone who has beat cancer, it would provide a reminder of how far you have come, (thus taking the edge off the daily grind post cancer.) The same painting could be created during the fight, where the image in the mirror would be the you that you want to be again. I am going to ask Jill, the founder of www.blogforacure.com to be the test case for the first portrait like this. Once it is finished I will post a photo, please give me your input on this idea. c. The third painting I envision is a man and woman standing holding hands peering off into the distance, could be ocean, woods, mountains, etc… The concept being that we are in this together regardless of what is out there waiting for us. 2. Notice Full disclosure, I am going to give away 10 – 20 portraits in the 3 styles mentioned above. This will allow me to get my head around what works best. I am not a rich person, nor am I poor, but the fact is cancer is expensive even with insurance. I do need to make money to pay the extra bills and this is my way to do that and provide support to our friends. If everything were to work out I would give away the first 10 – 20 paintings with the request that the recipients tell everyone they know about me. Their friends and family would then see that this is a great gift for Christmas, anniversaries, and other special days. I would then use any profits to help pay for my treatment bills, and provide more paintings to those who can not afford one. ( I will provide more info on this in the coming days, it is 23:12 19 August 2008). 3. The third goal is 2 fold. One, build a nest egg for the girls if something happens to me and also create a source of income if I am no longer capable due to illness or death. In the spirit of full disclosure, I do have a reasonable amount of life insurance. But Jenn is a stay at home mom with 4 young girls so that won’t last forever. (And I certainly don’t want her to feel pressed to replace me for financial reasons). Wait a minute I don’t want to be replaced for any reason! That is the starter post from the new and improved me….. I will be posting a list of many other projects tomorrow and the days to come….. Anyone who has any ideas please let me know. I will also be calling on some of you to help me. There is no way that I can accomplish the magnitude of things that need to be done with out a great team. You want to play? We may be sick, but as of 23:32 (11:32 pm), 19 August 2008 we are not beaten so please join me. Cheers, EyeCandy (Paul) Have a nice day! P.S. Here is a quick list of things of plan to address in the coming days. 1. We need to get some cancer caregivers (doctors, and nurses) to join our on-line groups and supply the story from their perspective. Why isn’t there a dialog between us and them? 2. We need to think about hiring doctors to provide information to us in an unbiased manor. I am not a doctor hater, but my experience is that we have to make major decisions about the treatment recommendations without sufficient information or options. It seems that everything is dumbed down, making it very difficult to decide on treatment options. The Internet has been a god send to me, but it could be much better. more to come.. 3. I would love to use the painting website to provide others with a way to augment the expenses of cancer treatment. ( more to come)...... 4. I also want to find a way to provide massage service to people undergoing treatment, when my wife was in the hospital in Belgium after the twins were born she had a masseuse come by everyday for 6 days and massage her legs and it was one of the most memorable experiences of the hospital stay, not to mention therapeutic. 5. Also I think there is an opportunity to get fast food restaurants to provide vouchers to cancer patients, the fact is making dinner is a lot of work when you are tired… I know that they would not be only thinking of the charity, they would expect to gain business from the friends and family of the patient, fair enough, I sort of compare this to the dollar menu, we are very good at ordering from the dollar menu and then going home to complete the menu with our own sides and drinks. 6. This is truly my biggest worry, if I get to the point where more treatment is only going to hurt me will I know I have reached that point? The fact is doctors and hospitals get paid to treat us, not send us home with bad news…......???????/ Good Night Folks Much more to come “I am back on the bike” Well you are going to be a busy man and your wife and family are proud of you, so am I. I look forward to see some of this come true. And if I can give any help let me know. Hugs To you and Yours. Sherri Paul you are a rock star. I love all your ideas and love that you are giving back to the cancer community so much. And way to go to get back on the bike. great photo. You should come out and do Ride the Rockies some year, if you haven’t already. Also, I am so honored that you would choose me for a painting. Let me know what I can do to help out. ;-) That is awesome! You are awesome! =o) Congrats on getting back on the bike and winning! I’ll be glad to help in any way I can. I really like the idea of looking into the mirror…and the reflection being the “healthy” person. Let me know how I can help…and if you need a volunteer for this…I’ll volunteer my boyfriend Wes…LOL. I am sure he wouldnt mind. And I would be glad to pay you for all materials…or whatever we would need to work out there. Thanks Celeni You Rock-way to go! I started smiling the minute I began reading (and will probably keep smiling all day long now). With this fighting attitude, it is going to take a lot to stop you! Keep going! Hi, Paul. Please keep in touch! Yuyu Hi Paul; Well that was a wishing well of optimisim and good ideas that you put forth for us all. You have shown everyone that it is possible to still have dreams and goals and that we can also help you achieve them. Of course I would like to assist you in any way possible. It seems I am one of the few Canadians on this site. I wonder if any Oncologist up here might take on the task of communicating? I know how busy those professionals are, so it might take a bit of convincing but when you have the plan set let me know how and what is involved before I approach one of them. Yes I would buy a painting. Can’t wait to see the one of Jill. This is very exciting news and Paul you are really special to bring forth your talents to this Blog for A Cure =CANCER SUCKS. Paul, you’re a hero and you truly rock with all your superb ideas. I really admire you for being strong, a fighter and always have that positive attitude . Am happy that you’re back again riding your bike . If everything feels ok for me tomorrow I will ride my bike at the summerstreet from Brooklyn to Central York for it is the last day. Keep going like energizer battery don’t stop fighting on your own battle. Bye!
August 13, 2008
Well I have been back at work for 3 days. The eye is still irritated, but hasn’t been to bad. The depression is setting in and I don’t like it! I have many things to do, but my drive to get them done is failing me. I had planned to ride my bike across the state of Illinois last Saturday, but I am not allowed to exercise for another week. Increased pressure on the eye, it seems, is a bad thing. So the bike hangs alone in the garage….. While we lived in Belgium, it was not uncommon for me to grab a flight to Slovakia or the Czech Republic and just ride a couple hundred miles over a few days, with a small backpack and no idea where I would end up each day. I can still see the fields of sunflowers that stretched on for miles. And then the High Tartar mountains would begin, time and speed were unimportant. I can’t fully explain how great it felt to just ride. I would be covered in dirt and sweat by the end of the day. Then check into some small hotel shower maybe a quick nap. Then I would walk to some little pub have a few cold beers and invariable meet some of the nicest people ever. The conversation always seemed to start the same. I would explain that I was an American living in Belgium, a computer engineer working for NATO. This was followed by talk of culture, music, bikes and life. Then I would walk back to the hotel call Jen let her know I was O.K., and then just sleep some of the best sleep ever, and do it all over again the next day. I could then go back to 12 – 16 hour days with a smile. Things that stick with me: Good and bad Joining the U.S. Air Force Asking Jen to marry me.. Nude Beach … Berlin Straussenfest Berlin Ramstien AFB Camping in a small cabin with Jen Interlocken Switzerland.. Mountain Climbing whitewater rafting Garmish Germany.. Volksmarch, Oktoberfest Paris (the first time) Paris (with Jen and Mackenzie) Paris Moulon Rouge (Josh Gina Jen) 8 days Southern Italy with Paris Bossa Rolling the Porsche 1 week before Emma was born. (walked away) Running our 5K on the canal with Jenn (windy) 268 KM (166 mile) Bike race 4 countries one day non-stop 9+ hours Holidays Turkey, Bulgaria beach Biking Czech Republic, Bulgaria, Holland, Belgium, Slovakia…. One week in Holland with Steve Kearby Day trip on the train Antwerp Loss of Father… Good bye Dad Birth – 4 beautiful girls.. Kosovo 9 months alone Friends…. You know who you are .. Thank You…..... CANCER….??????????????????????????????????? #$%@ing CANCERTomorrow the fight continues….. Cheers, Paul Paul I have never heard of so many places, activities and sheer determination not to miss a thing on your wanderlust life. You are one lucky man to have all those memories and the love of your family. Yes you now feel cheated and I can’t blame you one bit for those hated moments. This is another challenge which you will in time tackle with the vim and vigor of your past experiences. It is very natural to feel angry, confused and damn mad at cancer. It is the one thing noone wants to hear or speak about. Take some time to heal from your surgery and then….well you know get back on your bike and plan some mini trips to places you haven’t seen in the good ole USA. If that is possible. Just remember we are all here fighting the good fight of our lives and wish you the courage, prayers and dreams of a long future. I have cruised this Blog and read so many sorrowful stories and realize that each person’s dilema is part of our own. We are family here so just think of us as your group therapy class where you can just spew out the anger and receive love love love. Take care and take a little time out for yourself. You are still here and breathing so that is good. Weezie “this cancer has changed everything” As soon as I read this I realized how overwhelming, and how simple this one sentence is. At the heart of many of our blogs is this simple truth. One day we had a life and plans and dreams and goals. The next day we were survivors. 2.5 years from my diagnosis and before I am anything else I am a survivor. Thank you for another piece of understanding. Depression seems to be a part of this trial, for me it comes and goes. Sometimes it comes and stays for a bit, and then one day it will just leave, like an unwanted migrant guest. Good to hear you are back at work. Don’t let the bike get dusty. Mac Wow, that post totally hits home. I can relate in so many ways. I keep saying “next month I am going to snap out of this funk and get it together”. Get back to doing all the fun things I use to do. Why is it so hard to do? I have been done with treatment for awhile now, but the stress and the funk from cancer just doesn’t seem to go away. Will gang I thought it was just me that had the Blues. How’s your vision? I had immense problems going back to work -acting normal, meanwhile, my sight had been completely altered. The depression is bothersome I agree. I am not a person who gives in to lifes challenges, but this experience is very tough. You sound like you are dong very well with it. I read this blog last week, and it has taken me several days to respond. I thought about it over the weekend. Your bike is hanging by itself for now. But YOU WILL get on that bike and be able to go again. For now you have some great memories to get you through. Your life in Europe, sounds like most people’s dreams! Hang in there!
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08.01.08 - 
Thanks for your support -
Paul; My husband and I watched it too. The show was really great but too short I think. How come Jerry Lewis gets 72 hours but Cancer gets 1? If the cancer stats are as miserable as they said, how about giving it the same exposure tv wise and make a major telethon out of it. Perhaps that was the first baby step towards that end. I wonder how much they raised? Anyway thanks for posting that, I knew about it from the start so I had emailed all my email buddies last Wed. to look out for the special. Seems like the celebs got what they wanted out of it, exposure…. Boy I guess I am tainted a little bit here. Better late than never. Weezie